A Slump…

Truth: I feel like I am in a little bit of a slump right now. I can’t explain what has been going on lately that has caused it, but life has caught up with me in a big way lately.

5 things that have been going on lately…

1. As I noted before, I have a job that requires me to travel and it’s fantastic. I am often in awe of the fact that I get paid to do what I do and for that, I am eternally grateful. That said, being away from home can wear on a person. Hotel pillows aren’t always great. The temperature in every room I stay in vacillates between “eternal depths of hell” and “freezing my ass off” with not much in between. Hotels are noisy. Sometimes I get to listen to things I’d rather not hear, and I’ll just leave it at that. Sleeping in different beds each night takes a toll on a person also. And while I am fiercely independent, I do miss my hubby and home. Lately, I have had a lot of travel. Not just for work, but also for personal reasons, which I’ll discuss in a second.

2. This summer was crazy busy. I was in 3 weddings… 3… It is sort of ironic to me that I have never been in this many weddings in a summer in my life and it happened at 33 years old. 3 weddings mean 3 bachelorette parties and 3 bridal showers. None of this is bad or exhausting, and it was a super fun summer with everything we got to do. Two of the weddings were for family members I am extremely close to and there was a lot of love and emotion that went into them. I think that the culmination of getting through all that has kind of hit me hard. Now we return to normal adult life and I am just shocked that all those weddings are done.

A lot of the personal travel I had this summer was for these weddings or events related to them. I did sneak away to Portland for a long weekend with my hubby and got to go visit friends in Seattle for a few days on my own as well. I kind of feel like I need a slow down right now, but life has a way of not really allowing that when you need it. Right now it’s really a matter of forcing myself to have an occasional lazy Sunday and also finding a way to prioritize sleep at night.

3. Somewhere in all of this, I feel like I let go of my fitness routine and that is killing me and making me extremely sad. I have been working out and lifting religiously for a year and a half and for the last 6 weeks or so, I’ve struggled to even walk in to the gym. It’s funny how when you go workout regularly, you feel so much better, but it’s still such a challenge to get out of a rut and start going again when you’ve stopped.

I know, with certainty, that it is time to get my booty back in the squat rack and get on the stair climber and literally start working my butt off again. Am I the only one that struggles with these ruts? If anyone wants to volunteer to be a workout partner, I’d love some extra incentive right now… 🙂

4. I have allowed some negativity to seep into my brain for some reason. I did so well for a while with eliminating negative self-talk and not allowing negative people and forces to impact how I live my life. I need to start doing that again for self-preservation sake.

If I had to pick one thing that is causing the most mental exhaustion for me, this is what I would pick. Seeing myself in a negative light is one of the worst things for me mentally and I don’t know why I do it. If I could explain it, I could probably stop doing it. My close friends have all caught me in this ridiculousness before and called me out. Bottom line, it’s annoying and it needs to stop. The worst part is that the one thing that is the most internal is what is contributing so much to how I have been feeling lately.

5. There has been a lot going on with my family. Obviously, there were weddings, and those were happy and wonderful. There has also been some tough stuff. It sometimes seems like we can’t catch a break as a family. Watching family members battle cancer and other illness is tough. For maybe the first time in my life, I am starting to realize that my parents and other close family members aren’t invincible and that they may not be around for forever. This has been a really challenging realization for me and it has hit me hard a few times recently.

I know this post feels a little negative, but trust me that I count my blessings daily. I have a great job, an amazing husband, and incredible friends and family and I absolutely know that.  It’s just time for me to get myself back on track and start taking care of me a little better. Sometimes, I think just saying “I’m frustrated, but it will be okay!” makes a huge difference in our perspective.