So, I’ve been thinking a lot about confidence and what makes me feel best about myself. I’ve been in a pretty good place mentally for a while now and I keep asking myself what was so different from a few months ago. I think that, especially for women, we all have things that make us feel good in our own skin. Obviously, these things are different for all of us and it is always interesting to hear what they are.
If I have learned anything the last few months, it is that my confident, happy place is my post workout self. Yeah, I said that. You know when you’ve just finished a workout and you are all sweaty and just starting to cool down? Yeah, that is the place where I feel most happy and confident. Maybe it comes from all the endorphins or maybe I am crazy. Probably both, really.
Anyone who knows me knows that working out and strength training are just a part of who I am. I found my fitness sweet spot when I found heavy lifting. Not only am I good at it, but it makes me happy. If you could see my reactions to new PR’s on bench presses or squats, you would know that I am like a little kid when I achieve these milestones. I love when I am sore from working out because it means that tested my body and pushed it to be better that week. I know that sounds weird, but anyone else who lifts will agree with me. We push through the soreness and keep working because we enjoy testing our body’s limits. It’s just ingrained into people who are into strength training.
When I am taking care of my body like I should and getting my workouts in, it’s almost like my mind takes care of itself. I am a person who stresses and has a bit of anxiety at times, but puts on an amazing face to the world. Most days that I am stressed, only the people who I allow to see me struggle even know. Because of that, my stress tends to creep up in different ways… for example, I grind my teeth in my sleep badly and my immune system seems to fail me more than it should. That said, working out makes me so much better mentally. If I am in a bad mood or having a bad day, you can almost guarantee that I missed my workout that day. When I don’t do an early morning workout, I feel more edgy and stupid things make me angry.
Another thing I notice is how taking care of myself seems to carry over into so many other aspects of my life. I do better at work because I handle stress better. I also feel so much more confident which translates into success in selling, almost always. My husband, friends, and family all notice that I am happier and generally more fun to be around. I just feel lighter as a person, and that’s amazing.
It wasn’t really until yesterday that the truth about my confident place really occurred to me. I was in a foul mood yesterday… just irritated with everyone and everything for no good reason. I couldn’t get my morning workout in due to work obligations, which is just a reality of life sometimes. I knew I needed to get to the gym in the afternoon when I could. I kid you not, as soon as I walked in the door to the gym, my attitude changed. Before we even really started, there were jokes being cracked and I was doing stupid dances and smiling. It was a tough workout, and when we were done, I was sweating like crazy and feeling physically spent. As I struggled to put my weights and equipment away due to fatigue, it occurred to me that while I was physically taxed, mentally my cup was so full. The stress of the day didn’t matter in that moment. I felt happy and confident and like I had just kicked ass at doing something that was incredibly challenging.
I am also incredibly lucky to have an incredible support system to work out with. I have met an awesome group of humans who have literally watched me have meltdowns and taken care of me through them. They know that not every day is going to be a victory and they remind me of how hard I work every time things don’t go as planned. These people watched me come back to the gym after a major illness and struggle my ass off. There were tantrums and tears and they not only stood by my side, they brought me back from the brink. There is nothing more comforting than knowing that when things aren’t going your way, you have a whole group of people you can call who will bring you back to earth. These people challenge me to be my best, lift me up, and are just amazing friends.
At the end of the day, this post is very much about my fitness journey, but there is another take away. FIND THE THING THAT LIGHTS YOU UP INSIDE AND MAKES YOU FEEL CONFIDENT AND HAPPY. I think as humans, it should be a personal goal to find this thing, whatever it is. When you find this thing and you can incorporate it into your days, you will find that space where your cup feels full and you are your best version of yourself.
Life Of Kristin: An Experiment in Creativity 