It’s Time for a Change of Scenery

I am about to drop some truth bombs…

Being a woman in your 30s isn’t as cool as I thought it would be. When I was younger, I told myself that a lot of the not so fun things I endured in my 20s would get better. You know what? Some of them did. I no longer have to do the dating thing or wait for a call from some guy for multiple days. I have a job where I no longer have to stress about how I am going to pay my bills every month. I am finally really okay with just being myself. All of those things are pretty great.

You know what sucks though? As women who are in our 30s, we are still competing with each other like it’s a goddamn job. The worst part of all this is that instead of cheering for each other, we actually have the audacity to get pissed off when someone else is having success. Mind you, I say “we” because I am guilty at times too. Its just sort of part of what we do. I know not everyone is doing this all the time, but I bet most of us have at least at some point.

NEWSFLASH: ANOTHER WOMAN’S SUCCESS IS NOT AN INSULT TO YOU. Mind blown! Someone who is shining and growing likely isn’t doing it to spite you. Clap for her. Cheer her on. Let her mindset rub off on you. I am making some commitments to myself as I think about this. I have been really re-evaluating things and realizing that I need to make changes too.

I will no longer half ass cheer for someone. If I am cheering for you, I mean it. I will think about my words more so that I don’t give back handed compliments. I don’t want to be the girl giving compliments like “you look great, but I wouldn’t want to have muscles like that.” I have heard this very compliment directed at me. It sucks. That’s not a person I want to be. I will stop saying things like “you’re killing it, girl” unless they are fully genuine.

If a conversation is mostly about bashing other people, I will excuse myself. I want to hear about the cool things you are doing, your hopes and dreams, the amazing vacation you just got back from, and the fun happenings in your family. I also want to be there for you as a friend when you’re struggling and listen to you. I don’t want our time together to be spent complaining about other people. I just don’t.

I will celebrate your successes even when I am struggling. Life sometimes gives us a crappy hand, but that’s no excuse not to clap for someone else. I feel like anytime I hear of someone else’s success, even in the worst of my times, it can be uplifting. So, if you know I am struggling, PLEASE still come to me to tell me of the promotion you got, your big fitness accomplishment, or any other good fortune you might have in your life now.

I will no longer try to outdo anyone else’s success. I am an intelligent, strong, and beautiful woman, in my own way. I don’t need to be better than anyone else. I don’t need to prove that I am better at simply being. My journey isn’t the same as anyone else’s and all comparison does is cheapen that. We can all be successful. We can all share the glory. There is plenty of it out there.

I will TRY my best to maintain a positive attitude. It is infectious and good for everyone. I will try to always be the friend that looks on the bright side. If you need some motivation or to hear something uplifting, I will make every effort to be the friend that you can come to. I will do everything in my power to not get sucked into negativity or negative conversations.

Bottom line is that I am so ready to stop competing and stop comparing. It’s time for a change of scenery.